Songs of Lonely Times

what is love?
who really cares?
make it up
as long as its still there
i only find it in my dreams
but all dreams end
is it what it seems
or is it all pretend

eyes of black
washed out by tears
misleading facts
disguised in fear
what is love?
who really knows?
i know it can come
and it will always go

singing songs
of lonely times
brings along
more lonely minds
secret wispers
secret smile
as long as its love
its worth my while

unseen words
inside my head
write them down on paper
to be read
whats a word?
is that all that it is
read every word
the best are the missed

who am i?
who are you?
is it ok to cry?
if i dont no what to do
somethings always wrong
theres nothing right
keep singing songs
of lonley times

what is love?
who really cares?
i know i do
but im unaware
i only find love in dreams
but every dream has to end
is love what it seems?
or is it all pretend?







JC

In Ruins

hey yeah, all i wonna do is live
hey yeah, everything else i want to forget
down in a hole, lifes such a pain
im nobodys fool, cuz i dont go by a name
sound asleep, the little boy lays
eyes dark and deep, with depressing shades
hey yeah, hes got his life to live
look at me now, i got no life to give

in ruins i lay
looking for an empty grave
in ruins i die
an angel with out wings can not fly

hey yeah, give me something to do
hey yeah, give me a new view
shocked by the world, ur crazy if you are not
or maby its me, im the reason of my shock
here i am, where i was years ago
here i am, knowing nothing new from what i used to know
hey yeah, give me someone to love
look at me now, and just give me something i want

in ruins i lay
looking for an empty grave
in ruins i die
an angel without wings can not fly

hey yeah, i only made one big mistake
hey yeah, id take it back but its to late
watch me crumble, into a pile that i form
the world rumbles, as im taken away by the storm
i always say, in a jar is where time is kept
and my jar, doesnt seem to have much left
hey yeah, it only takes one big mistake
and look at me now, in ruins i lay

in ruins i lay
looking for an empty grave
in ruins i die
an angel without wings can not fly





JC

Rain's Redemption

wide eyes that are bloodshot
starring at the mirror
clock reading 3 o clock
body trembling in fear
mind being hypnotized
and everything goes numb
same nerves being exersized
heart beating to the drum
all is quite all is still
but do not be decieved
u think he is gone
but once in he will never leave

wide eyes focus on the rain
drops falling to my left and right
silenceing all my pain
taking over my life
in the distance i hear my name
being called down to hell
in an instance i follow the flame
just like the angel that fell
riding along unaware of danger
not carring of what surrounds me
just giving thanks to the stranger
who i think really found me

wide eyes blink and the trance is lost
as i face hells fiery gates
circling the sockets they remain bloodshot
as they stare down my fate
right then i heard a voice from above calling my name
but i did not think this evil could be stopped
then the fiery gates were put out by the rain
that is the inocense of a rain drop




JC

Minds Island

tears of fury run down my face
with my middle finger at my side
and my mind runs away to this place
the place that chases my fears
and nothing can go wrong
thats why, thats why i love it here

reality strikes harder the second time
and my head really starts to spin
and i get lost in my mind
now nothing seems to be ok
so i save all i got
for some other, miserable day

laying in bed with my eyes open wide
still angered by about today
i still got my middle finger at my side
and then i close my eyes
and all i can dream of is
dream of a better life

wake up to the music blasting in my ear
get out of bed and begin my day
but i cant go a day without yelling the mirror
walk outside and my mind takes me away
then reality makes me realize
im living, another miserable day

then i let my anger out of its cage
raise my middle finger in the air
and get rid of all my rage
and then im done until the next tear comes down my face
until then
my mind will run me away to this place
basking infront of heavens gates
and the door keep awaits
for that miserable day....




JC

I Just Don't Know

im looking for answers in all the wrong places
im finding love in all of the wrong faces
should i stay,
or should i go?
looking for my pride because i got none
im looking right at a special someone
is this real?
i just dont know

hands in the air with my eyes closed
i just dont care what happens from here
ive gotten this far without it but i just dont know
is what im looking for real?

looking for someone to share my lonely heart
someone who could give it a jumpstart
should i stay
or should i go?
looking for eyes to get lost in when i open mine
eyes that could make me forget about all the lost time
is this real?
i just dont know

i close my eyes and dream at night
and i dream of you
what i want i just dont know
i just dont know what to do

looking for answers in all the wrong places
looking for love in all the wrong faces
either way,
i got nothing to show
looking for someone who can understand me
and even in my own doubt she will believe
i hope this is real
but i just dont know

i dont know aanything
so dont ask me
but if i knew everything
that would be to easy
give me a sign
let it come naturally
let out a sigh
let it all come to me
is this real
i just dont know





JC

The MIddle Page

let me no, when u wonna give me a break
dont forget im the only one that could ever make a mistake
people piss me off and throw me over the edge
i catch myself before i fall because i get the message
there are ppl in life that are jacked up, and just want attention
and then there are the other ones who's names rather not be mentioned
i find myself inbetween
but i have no set personality
to fit the life style of someone who is hated or adored
i live my life on the pages inbetween, the ones that are ignored
no one cares about the middle, its all about the beginning and the end
the middle holds the details , and the message that will never send
as long as our stuborn minds keep living how we are
nothing in our world will have a chance to get far
but what does it matter anyway
no one cares about the middle page

smoke the days last cigarette
and leave the ash behind
never to see again what we left
all it is now is past time
anger stored in the back of my head
waiting to pounce on its prey
patience comes to me
and in the back of my mind it stays
build my bridges sturdy
so i can not burn them down
walk across them on my journy
journy to find whats not found
recycle my thoughts in my brain
repeat the same words over and over again
flush the ashes with the rain
the flame will never mend

there are people in life that are jacked up, and only seek attention
and then there are the othere ones whos names rather not be mentioned
i find my self inbetween
not favoring either personality
i am not hated nor adored
i keep to myself and i be ignored
but nothing matters anyway
because no one reads the middle page





JC

I Want to Make This Real

what i want i dont know
but i no this i want to go
but getting there takes some time
but im sure ill end up just fine
satisfied or not
ill walk out of this with what i got
head on my shoulders just like before
but still that head rests on the floor
since ive fallen i havnt gotten up
ive been mangled by this thing called love
which is why i havnt gone anywhere
i can say i dont, but really i care
and this is real

i forget myself and think of you
im just looking for something new
but the past can be the best way
it always is cuz u cant depend on another day
lifes a struggle, it would be to easy just to be alive
and if u looked at me u wouldnt think i would survive
but peoples doubts just give me more reason
which is why my eye catches u cuz u never stopped believin
and this is real

hold my breath as i walk the line
god let me make it through this time
i dont ask for much but i will now
i wonna get this done and ur the only one that knows how
so give me all that u got
for so long, ive just stood back and watched
but here i go running in with open an open hand
hopeing to finally be able to understand
but lifes just a struggle and thats how it will be
and thats how it will forever be
and this is real

this is what i feel
and this is real
it came apon me that its true
all paths lead to you
now its time to let the table turn
and ill get what i deserve
and god knows if its anything at all
which is why i lay where i fall
this isnt how i want it to be
just someone who is not worthy
and this is real

what i want i just dont know
all i know is that i want to go
but getting there is an issue
thats why i come to you
i want to make this real





JC

Easy Talk

hand running through my hair
stressed out once again
kicking and screaming life isnt fair
it never will be nor has it been
disabilities have haunted me
and the end is not in sight
what u think is unbelieveable
is what i call my life

tired of being so overseen
tired of being misunderstood
i would tell the world everything
if i had that chance i would
i want the world to see me
as the person that i am
i watch my life fade infront of me
and time slips right through my hands

welcome to the deep end
no one can sink or swim
i go into the past again
same trip it was way back then
history repeats itself
and i am left behind to watch
greiving in agony
over a life that shouldnt have been lost

look at me here this is my life
idc what you see
that deprived boy your looking at
just so happens to be me
what you wont make me angry
but it will probly make me think
but i will let it pass right by
i say that without a blink

fortune favors the brave they say
and chaos favors the lonley
i never had a hero
never had anyone to show me
life is nothing but bricks
its up to you to build your walls
the less you take time to think
the greater chance they have to fall

tired of being overseen
tired of being misunderstood
if i could stop the world from fighting
i would do it if i could
but disabilities have haunted me
and the end is not in sight
what u think is unbelieveable
is what i call my life



JC

There She Is

there she is right infront of me
but i still watch her like im dumb
i freeze up and choke on my tounge
she walks away and my heart goes numb
numb in pain and crushed by love
there she is right infront of me
as she walks away my heart begin to breaks
and i prepare for another heartache
it goes down in the books as another mistake
mistaken by the friend i love

there she is right in front of me
yet my eyes get drawn away
and its just another day
only if i had the right words to say
to make her know what i feel
there she is right in front of me
i dont know if its true
but every road i experiment seems to lead to you
and this is nothing new
the same old crush is beating me

hello 2morro
break some mirrors so i dont have to
ill close my eyes and dream of you
and maby look at life through your view
so i can understand
hello 2morro
save me then so i dont have to save myself
im drawn to her and no body else
only if she knew what i felt
so she could understand

there she is right infront of me
another summer takes her and soon she will be gone
and for another year i will move on
but next year i will continue this same love song
if history repeats
there she is right infront of me
but i am to afraid to ask
after the foundation built in the past
and then just another friendship will crash
butlike they say high risk high reward
there she is right infront of me
i can watch her smile the rest of my life
its such a comforting sight
it makes me feel everythings alright
but deep inside i know shes getting away..and she dosnt know





JC



inspired

Sneakers

ive been wearing these same pair of shoes for so long
when i put on these shoes, it seems nothing can go wrong
but everytime my shoelace comes untied
i trip and fall and in shame i begin to cry
every life is a mystery just waiting to be solved
and it seems to me that mine is the hardest of them all

sometimes i wonder where im going in life
sometimes i dont know, if im wrong or right
sometimes i just want to cry alone inside my room
sometimes i just cry cuz i dont know what to do
im curious to see what i will be when im older
i wonder if my heart will change and go colder
im anxious to see if my dreams come true
but dreams crumble cuz thats what dreams do
the world as i know it is so chaotic
and i cant defeat everything with my knowledge
jesus wont you help me through it all
tie my shoes tight so i dont fall

real love is blind and it catches you while ur unaware
and to be honest with you i face love..and im scared
i dont know what to is fake and what is real
how much is real depends on how you feel
but everything i feel i second guess
and once i decide none of it is left
my shoes are tied and remain unforgotten
a trusty pair of shoes that cant go rotten
these shoes hold my passion and my pride
these shoes gain more knowledge in each stride

lord save me
i dont know where im going
dont betray me
im going into battle without knowing
life is caving in on me
and im left out here
i cannot see
i can only fear
and fear is the only thing that can kill me
so lord tie my shoes
your the only one who can thrill me
my life evolves around you

ive been wearing these same shoes for so long
and i dont even care what is going on
i dont care if my shoes come untied
cuz if i trip and fall its not like i died
every life is like a mystery just waiting to be solved
im not worried about solving mine at all





JC

Unnamed Feeling

i open my eyes just to see
the world crumbling around me
im cautious to move from where i lay
in this spot forever i could stay
broken glass surrounds me scattered
it lays where it was shattered
violently i blink my eyes trying to comprehend
at the same time from this evil i try to defend
what it is i do not know
its an unnamed feeling that cant be shown
my life must be shown for the stealing
because i too am a victim of this unnamed feeling

it blinds the innocent with its horrific grace
it freezes you and stands you still in your place
once ur caught you cannot escape
its cuts off your mind with a witty rape
losing in life is all part of the game
the feeling cheats, and it goes by no name
no name could burden such heavy sorrow
no name could live to see tommorow
this unnamed feeling can not be tamed
so it must be left alone and remain unnamed

i open my eyes just to see
the whole world crumbling infront of me
im cautious to move from where i lay
i hesitate to encounter but i am doomed to say
broken glass surrounds me scattered
in the same place where it was shattered
i dont know how long i will be infected by this disease
i dont know how long it has been haunting me
never leave your mind in danger of stealing
or you too will become a victim of this unnamed feeling...




JC

Don't Run

if theres no where to run to
if theres no where to hide
he will always find you
and he will be at your side
but when the world is shaking
dont you dare run away
you will not be forsaken
he is here to stay

look to the moonlight
when theres no sun
and on those cloudy nights
dont you dare run
because he will find you
no matter where you go
he will be right behind you
in your fortune it will show

when your life seems to crumble
and u think theres no way out
do not be scared to stumble
thats what life is all about
and if you dont know
dont you dare run
because where ever you go
he will surely come


JC

The World is a Rain Cloud

every life is a rain drop just sitting in a cloud
all words are lost in the thunder o so loud
whisperd lies and dark regrets is what makes our cloud so black
only if we had the chance to take our thunder back

every life is a rain drop just waiting to fall down
some will see there destiny others wont even see the ground
hope is a strange thing that never can be predicted
hope has no recolections with the mindless and the wicked

every life is a rain drop just sitting at its peace
with screams pounding at your ears that will never leave
chaos surrounds you forceing surrender against all will
but then theres the brave that only end up killed

every life is a rain drop observing the endless drought
ud think in due time we would all figure out
war is just another thing that keeps us from hope
when we fight one another all we are is alone

every life is a rain drop sitting in a cloud
gave up on looking for hope cuz none was found
all future is lost and we dont know what might have been
the only good thing about up here is your closer to heaven

every life is a rain drop just waiting in a cloud
mouths are moving but the words are lost cuz the thunders loud
whispered lies and dark regrets are what makes this world so black
only if we had the chance to take our thunder back



peace

JC