read what u will

when i look into your eyes
i cant feel any pain
it takes away they cloudy skys
and the hailing rain
u bring the sun out with your smile
and then u give that look
idk if i should wait a while
u could be the biggest risk i ever took

i love 2 see ur face, and just watch what u do
every time i see it
i become more attached to you
nit we are drawn apart and ther e is nothing we can do
idk if u feel the same
but im stuck onto you like glue

ive been thinking a lot about u
i cant get my mind off you
which could be a good or bad trial
but when my thunder starts rolling
and i all i want is to meet my bullet
i think of u and smile

and then the sun comes up
ur smile lights the world
idk if you no
but ur a very lovely girl
im afraid to take my eye of you bcuz
im afraid that this might be true love
idk if u no
but i think im love

ive said this many times b4
i really think ur what im looking for
idc if u feel the same
it only takes once to make me realize
when i look into your soft eyes
it takes away any pain

i feel the suicide, again and again
i ask my self, where has me been
since that friday after school
ive lost it all including my cool
i look back and regret
bcuz a part of me was left
in the unbreakable past
it is all now as good as ash

i dont understand life
how it could be so hard
yet so simple,
as simple as a few snickers bars
and at that moment it came 2 me
u rnt just ppl
ur all saints to me
and it went on and on and on and on

when i look into your eyes
all my pain goes away
and when i want to hide
i visualize your lovely face
and this is how my message needs to get sent
idk who has read or unread
but there is one thing that i know
and its begining to grow
....

its been to long when u cant remember
the last time we were together
sitting in the cold rain
with a simple small umbrella
in the month of novmeber
on a cold fall day
it was then we spoke together
in that horrid weather
if i woulda known it was the last
i woulda have held you forever
that was the last time i cried in november
and a regret in my past




JC

today and 2morro

yesterday has come and has gone
2morro is here and now we move on
to better things and better ways
i hate the days that lable me lost it
if only this world wasnt so caustic
o i hate those days
2morro marks the day of tears
the day which many wouldnt fear
only to us is what we wont
i have no boundrys but i should
i would fly if i could
"could"..meaning i dont
into deep waters i swim
not knowing the mess im in
i keep on going
high skys is the air i fly
idc if i die
if i do, i wish i not knowing
and the rain falls heavier today
it feels like nails in the oddest way
yet i keep walking
the rocking chair in which i sit
rocks my world and avoids all of it
plz keep on rocking
a fly away bird will someday fall
just like a king will lose it all
this all happens in one moment
one heart one wish
one start and one kiss
one dream, and i have blown it
my heart did not speak for my mouth
it did not express what i wanted it to shout
my love, so cunning
in deep water, in deep air
u are the reason i dont care
my love, plz love me

today has come, and 2morro is coming
this will keep accuring as long as i keep running
in this fast paced world
yesterday is gone, and soon is 2day
the november sky seems so grey
all bcuz of my heartcase girl
i lost her once but i hope not again
i wish i said not what 2 her friends
me 2 am confused
this makes no sense like love doesnt either
everyday i wish 2 see her
but whats a boy supposed 2 do?

when 2morro comes, i will mark the moment
when the flyaway bird fell, and rope was around his neck
when 2morro comes, i will move on
he hanged himself b4 the little bird left




JC




RB RIP

soul lady

night and day
things must change
the room is dark
but not dark enough for rays
and we go on
we carry on
through our life we move
with everything to proove
take our time
walk the line
smile in the sun
stop for everyone
plz dont leave me alone
i wont make it on my own
plz write me one more letter
plz make everything better
soul lady

wild fire
pure desire
armed with your eyes
thats all u need
take your weapons
and your perfection
stop and smile
wont u smile at me

o soul lady
so pretty
and u no u make me shake
soul lady
with eyes so deadly
dont u no u make my world quake

he was just 31
and his only son
he could have saved himself
but he loved to jump
when he died
its as if it was the first time i cried
he made me forget about
so many other times

then comes the sol lady
shes so pretty
and dont u no that u make me shake
o soul lady
with those eyes looking at me
just make my whole world quake
soul lady
you take a breath away from me
and as i watch u fly away
i no that night and day
is dark, but i can still see your rays
soul lady



JC

whisper to me...

whisper to me what u need to say
u can go, as long as you just stay
dont let go, today could be the day
whisper to me, if you may
fall asleep and let me guide your dreams
make u dream of the happiest things
make the world seem better than it seems
for once u wont wake up with a scream
close your eyes dear and just lay loose
ill be here forever through w.e u do
u could screw me over if you choose
all i wish is for u not 2 be kicked in the tooth
take my hand plz bcuz im so scared
hold me tightly and dont let me go out there
a flash of lightning lightens your face
i look into your eyes and i am awed by your gaze

things seem so much closer than they appear
things seem so much worse when they are infront of the mirror
so we close our eyes and resist the sight
afraid of fear, and fear frets fright
so whisper to me your thoughts on mind
search yourself and whisper what u find
hurry along we are running out of time
b4 u no it we will both be walking the same line
terror calls and we do answer
we become the cure of cancer
if we evolve into the cure
we will be so much better than what we were

give me wings when i am down
something to lift me off the ground
my legs are tired and my brain is stressed
your wonderful eyes i never forget
your voice cracks as u draw near
and then u whisper into my ear

"hold me tightly for i am scared,
afraid of everything out there,
take me closely hold me tight
we fret fear and fear frets fright,
close my eyes and relax my soul,
clense my thoughts and lead me drool,
tease me on with your temptaitions
plz me on with your voicifacations"

undernieth the crooked eyes
i see the world from the crooked skys
when i look at u i get mezmorized
elbow you with eternal suprise
so whisper to me all your untold lies
i forgive the most greatest sighs
tell me slowly and softly speak
tear out of the eye, kiss on the cheek






JC



influenced
above the h

suicide

it kills me
it kills me
it kills me
it kills me
it kills me
it kills to see
what u turned out 2 be
i thought i knew you
then i found out
u didnt even no
what life was all about
it kills me
the way u act
behind our backs
and u didnt even give us a clue
until it was 2 late
and right out of the blue
u took ur heart through the stake

it kills me
it kills me
it kills to see
everything
it haunts me
it haunts me
it taunts me
i think it wants me

and when your gone
everything goes with you
ill move on
but theres a piece of me in you
i hate this feeling of regret
idk what feelings ill have left
i give my self up for this
and all i get is a blown kiss
o i wish
i wish i took it

it kills me
it kills me
it kills to see
everything
it drives me
it drives me
it deprives me
of everything i need

and when the lights go down
and the sun takes its rest for the night
and no ones around
to make sure ur alright
where will u be
what will u be doing
it just kills me
2 no that ur spueing
out lies
and when u finally realize
and open your eyes
tonight
u find urself inside
b4 you commit suicide
and end our life

you kill me
you kill me
you kill me
you kill me
you kill everything




JC

wow

and then it started to snow
that day the world would know
about the girl that could do everything
but decided to do the worst

their minds only see one direction
they have no sense of detection
they know not what love is
they know not what trust is
when things were good they were flawless
they always had someone to talk with
but when they were low, they were o so low
everything began to fade away..and then it started to snow

when our minds began to detect
their lives had so much effect
and we knew what they didnt
it was there world and we were just in it
we saw them flex and we saw them fall
fall, fall right into the wall
they seemed to have gone right through
right through it all

right through the fights and the tears
through the thoughts and through the mirrors
they saw right through it, not knowing it was there
when they looked for guidence, it appeared nowhere
it all started with a simple phrase
now i look back and have seen better days
i hope
the wound gets sown
sown closed
i hope
they dont let go
and then it started to snow

then she cut, she cut it all
let it all loose and tried to forget the fall
she cries alone and dones harm to herself and her friends
i hope there is light where her tunnel ends
i hope i can get through to her
not knowing what to do with her
i take a stab at it and go with it
not knowing what im dealing with

i hate to see him sad like this
i hate to see them fight like this
when hes down
hes lower than the ground
and when we see them
it only can make us frown

no way
here we go again
i swore to myself
i wont let go again
again i dont wonna go through this
i dont wonna let this one go of my finger tips
and then it started to snow
then i began 2 know
her little secrets
she tries to keeep it
but u cant hide the truth forever


JC

give me wings lord

im not gonna face the weather
the weather is gonna face me
im going to beat this weather
if thats what i gotta beat

suicide is defined every day
when ppl die they bring back the dismay
but when u enter the world it is a risk u take
every soul u encounter has a chance to quake

i just heard voices in my head
of ppl idk, maybe they could be dead
arguing over something that i dont want to be
maybe thats y they keep haunting me

lord give me strength
give me courage
give power
give me everything
and ill give you everything
give me wings lord
idc what it brings lord
stero typing ect
give me everything it takes lord
just to make me happy
give me eyes to see lord
give me ears to hear
i might be afraid
that dosnt mean im in fear
give me honesty and wisdom
give me knowledge and ability
plz lord help me
give me wings lord
idc what it brings lord
headaches blood, so what
i will still sing lord
anything you do is considered perfect
tell me lord am i really worth it
give me wings lord
idc what it brings lord
help me fly away
help me sieze the day
help me to take on the challenger
and w.e




JC

rock my world

idk what you see life as
i see it as living in someone elses past
im setting these blue prints for someone else to pass
when the world comes crashing on you, ill get the last laugh
the hate between us is so strong
and we havnt given words in so long
i would make things better if i knew what i was doing wrong
i would change the world if i knew what was going on
but all i no is everything is chaos
ppl dont join the army to go over seas and get shot
ppl dont work hard just to be layed off
i got my self asking when will it all stop
when are things gonna change around here
i cant get off the bus without being in fear
its so scary that there are so many things we dont hear
and i can stand hearing some sounds go through my ear
im scared for all the ppl that are dear to me
im ashamed bcuz idk if im what they want me 2 be
and idk what those eyes see
idk if anyone cares about this poetry
jesus christ once came down to save us
saved the world?..look what became us
id hate 2 be the god that had 2 name us
if i were god i would disgrace us
so many times i look at the clock and become cluless
bcuz its always wrong and i cant stand this
its so hard to settle with
things that u cant depend on and things that are so ruthless
sometimes i just stroll around and think to hard
i wonder about my future, and if i get that far
im the pebble and the world is the tar
stuck in between what i want 2 be and what you are
we dont wonna live like this
so why dont we turn to jesus


everything now is so crazy
it all comes 2gether when everyone gets lazy
idk i was thinkin just maybe
maybe baby you could presuade me
to become something out of the ordinary
im sick of waiting for something amazing
sick and tired of waiting for a girl
im sick of waiting for someone 2 rock my world
i guess until another one comes along ill just keep waiting
unless u do a good job of presuading
bcuz i tried love out once and it just screwed me
im tired of waiting for a 9mm to do me
i tried being in love and it got me nothing but depresed
im currently on a mission, dont worry cuz i aint finnished yet






JC




for one of you

dream...

dream dream
silence of night
cuddled up in a ball
rapped up tight
dream dream
out of control
cant fall asleep
afraid of the soul
dream dream
keeps me awake
i shake even more
every breath i take
dream dream
i cant stop dreaming
when i look in the sky
i see heaven gleaming
dream dream
i lay there frightened
not hearing the sounds
just seeing the lightning
dream dream
i begin to rage
i feel like a dog
trapped in a cage
dream dream
sun comes up
i had little sleep
not enough
dream dream
it might seem like the end
but as the day begins
it starts a new trend
dream dream
every thing is a dream
its all unreal
as real as it seems
dream dream
only if my life was a dream
there would be no worries
no worries for me
dream dream
it starts again
just as soon as the previous one ends




JC

pieces of the rain

and your veins gush faster tonight
looking in the mirror
overwelmed by the site

you keep on bleeding
you no you will
you keep on needing
the urge to kill
your wound gets deeper and deeper
we kept on telling you..leave her..leave her
so dont come back to me with the hand across your face
now its all over and your left in disgrace

so beautiful
thats what you told me
but ur just like a lost soul
fighting so hard just to get free
your eyes see further and further
we kept on telling you, its not worth her, its not worth her
but when you came back to me the blood across your lip
you no i told you i dont wonna hear your grit

and then cut
then sewed them shut
for her he gave his glory
now this will be the end of the story
so say your goodbyes
look into her eyes
face the weather and pieces of the rain
learn from her so u dont do it again

and your veins gush faster tonight
and you look in the mirror
overwelmed by the sight

you start to wonder how things might have been
if only you faced the pieces of the rain




JC

a message-#2

not that i dont love you
but you act shy when you see me
i hate how some ppl would just die to be me
i wonna scream out loud so you can hear me
only if the whole world wouldnt fear me
i hate being the intiminator
the instigator
and the terminator
only if i was just seen as i am
i no that you can, you no that you can

i take a low shot, bam bam
i get right up thats who i am
i cry all the time over you
ive walked the line, i wonna be true
i kept fallin...fallin for you

my eyes see you and i get amazed
you are so damn beautiful in everyway
ill take my time, i had my chances
idk y im looking for answers
bcuz i no its you who i need
and everytime i see you my heart skips a beat
if i had one good question
it would be, god what am i missing
and i sigh as i write this for you
you know who you are, and im sry if i bore you
i sent a message to you on the gate way clipper
only if all our minds could smoothly filter
idk if i really love you
i think you love somone from your school
if thats how it is, then thats fine
you have you glory and all i want is mine

i might end up just being a writer that never made it
i might not ever reach love, ill just forever crave it
that could happen to me, but ill just do what i do
tell me does your boyfriend write for you
i recognize the walls im facing
i realize that we might not make it
theres a reason im writing this letter
i fell so sad and i want everything to get better
plz dont pitty me
all i want is for you 2 be happy
yeah i guess you can call me jealous
i hope hes a funny guy, refering back to your fella

idk about you, but i remember august
idk about you, but ill be honest
i adored you then i adore you know
we can just be friends or we can go out
i honor you, i admire you
the truth is im inspired by you
if you dont no this already ill tell you know
i fell for you, and im still on the ground
dirtfaced cuz i didnt make one sound

i dont want this to end, it can go on forever
promise me that you will never
forget me or forget this letter
plz make it just another on of your treasures
ask me questions like why..not who
you no who you are and you no its you
if not ill paint you a picture
read these words, read this scripture
right now i picture your beautiful smile
readin this like you were an innocent child
your eyes tell me everything i need to know
planting a seed is the only way the seed will grow
damn girl i want you so bad
i think its important that you no that
dont whipe my tears just ask your heart
is this man for real or is he just another fart
no im serious
i got emotions that could make you delirious
dont be thinking that im just all laughs
after all this you should no that

im tired of waiting around
i wonna get up off from the ground
so tell me
do you dare to love me
i dare
no im not scared
i no the consequences, im aware
aware that this could ruin us
but most likely improve us
anyways, in the end we r still losers

when my new life started i missed you
remember the good times at the old school
rememberd so many good times
i kept tripping over my laces, line after line
everyday that i think of you
becomes a better day the moment i picture you
idk whats happening
the world around me just keeps crashing
yet i can still find those eyes
just gazing right back into mine
i wonna speak but no words come out
making mistakes is what lifes all about
things change, and we both have
we have felt different since our near past
i hate being reminded when i see that heart
it makes me so mad cuz i wonna be a part
of you, more than just friends
i guess i could survive not being hand in hand
but if you take mine ill take yours
if thats all u want i wont come back for more

it all comes down to, that i love you
and everynight when i close my eyes i think of you
i remember how stupid i was
when i thought i was in love
now i know i was wrong
only bcuz of whats going on
i feel something that i didnt feel then
i see your smile, again and again
idk if you can hear me
idk if you can see me
i really hope that your reading this
i just wanted to get this off my chest
writing this for you might just be another regret
all i no is this thing, ill never forget
you mean the whole world to me
you are what you are and thats what i want you 2 be

im just frustrated cuz i dont have a clue
im going crazy watching everything you do
this might just be right outa the blue
but its all so worth loving you




JC


one word could describe what i feel...but thats to easy^



the greatest

brain freeze

i dont no why
i continue to fight
in something so crazy
that i call my life
i cant run
i cant sleep
i cant love
i cant wheep
its so unfair
i stride to survive
on my own i live
with no more to give
try 2 be positive
only negitive
in the end they win
always the same thing
i think only if
i did what they did
i got no options
everybodys watchin
brain freeze
i start choking and coffing
i need time
i need hope
i need his mind
of that dope

filter into my brain as i sleep
every person is different o but not me
i realize how much harder life is for me
while they take theres for granted i become the best i can be
still, its not enough
its never enough
im still not as ruff
still not as tuff
sometimes i ask y i try
sometimes i wish i would die
then my brain freezes
so i just cry
cry harder than the wind blows
in the greatest prarrie tornado
still i cant live up to them
my tears is like a puddle to all them

im still young and things will keep chaning
idk what to do with my life, i keep rearanging
i cant settle into this world
its to shot up even to imagine
everyday while they walk down the hill i walk up
im sweating off bullets but its not enough
once again they beat me to the prize
they beat me and my life, me and my life
to different personalities
i care but my life means nothing

i was so happy today
till i saw there good grades
i thought mine were good
but i guess i misunderstood
i asumed b4 i knew anything
they rubbed it in and broke my wing
any one can ace a fuckin stupid class
but not everybody has to work off there ass
to earn the altimate prize
and thats to get better, thats the goal of my life
when i think about all the good things
i am reminded of all the consequecnes of everything
then again i feel so good when they tell me i did fine
in away im complete and i feel so satisfied
which reminds me how great it is to be me
which follows up my brain freeze




JC


100grand