Obvious Omen

wont you just look at my life
i am nothing what i used to be
i wont lie about the obvious
its surly plain to see, the real me

wont you just look at my life
tell me what im still doing here
my rope fell short long ago
and ive run short on tears
agony has taken over my soul
thers nothing to refer to but ashes
with gun at my side i went outa control
and observed the lightning crashes
sadness conquered me
it left me a broken heart
not mendable and never dependable
its been that way since the start

this sorrow, kills me
take this knife out of my back
the blade cuts right through me
apologies are trash
fighting through the pain inside
questioning if its all real
is it me or am i dreaming
or is it just the pain i feel
stumble, stumble to the ground
god witness, my life turn around
i scribe into stone the feeling that i get
when im left alone so i can just forget
the way i once was
what i was ment to be
but i can not do anything because
i set this upon me

turn away dont look at my life
its got nothing to say to you
i dont got much to say about what ive done right
but i wish i knew
turn away dont look at my life
its nothing it used to be
unlesss u want to forgive me of my deeds
or better yet help me






JC

Spread Your Wings

Minds create illusions
Love creates confusion
Eyes can not see beyond those things
The bird will sing its song again
The bird will fly along again
But the bird can’t fly if it won’t spread its wings
So I say, spread your wings

Words won’t do you much
When what u want is love
Then again both will always be a pain
I don’t have much to tell you
I know the hell you’re going through
And I know things won’t ever be the same
So I say, spread your wings

Reality strikes once again
Ends up I’m just a friend
Not a tear could change a thing
So don’t go wasting your time
Putting tears in those pretty eyes
Because you just need to spread your wings
So I say, spread your wings

In my mind I know its right
Better off go down with out a fight
It’s so hard to not drop the gloves
Piece by piece I find my way through this maze
But I go on because at the end I know ill be amazed
And you too will find someone to love
So I say, spread your wings

Minds create illusions
Love creates confusion
A blurry eye can not see past anything
I am sure that you will love again
I am sure that I will be your friend
But nothing will happen unless you spread your wings
So I say, spread your wings






JC

Disability

long time ago i hurt myself
and i havnt been the same since
didnt think i could do anything else
but it all comes together in the end

living life in the fast lane
i dont look back i just pull away
living life just aint the same
if u dont live it the same every day

feeling sick like im gonna puke
then again thats how i always feel
u cant score unless you shoot
and u wont get nowhere if u steal

calculations running dumb
due to wrong answeres from before
mind goes dull and all goes numb
and im caught opening the wrong door

words of value come to my head
but i cant speak them from my mouth
makes me wish that i was dead
but thats what learning is all about

a long time ago i hurt myself
and it is killing me now
id like to find away to escape it
but im stuck in it until i learn how



JC

Soul Slaughter and Sacrifice

emptiness is filling me
this lonliness is killing me
how hard i try dosnt matter at all
the wall i climb never stops getting tall
words are letters merged into one
i see them as letters tangled and undone
time after time all goes to waste
i waste my time on nothing but haste
my disease is nothing worth praying for
trying to fight it is nothing worth slaving for
i could not fit any definiton
id say nothing if ud ask for a description
time is money and i dont got either
ive been waiting for my reward for being a believer
sometimes i wonder and question my decission
of only believing what was put in my vission
i cant live withought looking around me
so many things in life i dont know about surround me
until i know the chapters that have not been read
theres no way my life could move ahead
life is just one book and it has so many pages
im stuck on the copyright cuz im not that couragous
moving on means taking new steps
and im unaware on how many steps i got left
im afraid to die, yes i will admit it
but its gonna be a fear and i just gotta live with it
my best friend is lonliness cuz it is all i have known
who else will be there for u when u are all alone
emptiness is the only thing that always stands by me
who else will be there when i cry quietly...
mezmorized by terror and what it has to say
tramatized by error because to me its the only way
failure is not an option it is a requirement
and when its all you got all u can do is admire it
slaughter my soul so it becomes nothing
sacrifice my life so maby i can say it was worth something
and until i find an escape route emptiness will fill me
until i find something to trust lonliness will kill me






JC

Foreclosure of A Dream

A sight for sore eyes, thats what he called it. I don't know if he knew what he was looking at, or if he was just pretending to know what he was looking at. To tell you the truth i think he was pretending, because his eyes were closed the whole time. However i did not ever tell him that, or question him.I had much respect for that man. There was a time in my life when i wondered the same thing i wonder about him. Was i looking at anything, or did i just have my eyes open. Or mabye I too had my eyes closed the whole time, mabye they are closed right now. It really makes me wonder if what I am seeing is real, or is it all just pretend. What if this whole thing we call life is a mysterious dream, what if i am just part of someones head. But anyway, this old man always told me the same thing, every day. He said, "existance is not worthy of having a name, existance does not exist." I never knew what that meant, I never asked. He said that with a straight face and a lazy posture. A couple of times, he said it with a tone of frustration, and regret. Once i heard him mumble what it ment, but i did not understand it. "Lids of spikes and a mind of led." What he said only added to my confusion. That old man died on a Thursday evening, he never said anything about his name, and once again i never asked him. The same night he died, the mysterious dream ended.





JC

River

life is a river
cuz it keeps on flowing
if it wasnt for the water
i would stop going
modivated by the past
but my eyes are set on whats yet to come
a waterfall
should i stay or should i run

life is a time bomb
its bound to explode
my life is pretty close
im just waiting for the blow
tread the water below my feet
dont let the water take me down
but i can only tread so long
before i choke and drown

life is a stop watch
time depends on what goes on
my life stoped today
but it didnt stop for long
thought i found something i wanted
but it just was a hoax
in the water i remain
as my vacant mind soaks

life is a river
but every river ends
i am somewhere in between
but fate awaits around the bend
modivated by the past
dread what has yet become
here comes the end
should i stay or should i run




JC

Hallowed Be Thy Name

the church bell rings
the circus begins
gossip is exploading
minds are eroding
the passion of christ
is creating life after life
the alter is burning
the world stops turning
chaos is jaded
the words become faded
they say everything was created
i think i am persuaded
but words disappear
washed away by the tears
chaos becomes clear
in comes the factor of fear
surrounded by flaws
we ask where is god
but if would open our eyes
stop being so blind
we would see what we cant
then we would understand
but the church bells continue
the circus sticks in you
candles burn with flames from hell
the world is controled by the angel that fell
chaos regained
minds go insane
sanity is all that is known
and its all that we show
everything gone wild
grins steal the smiles
the alter is burning
all anger is churning
but in the midst off all smoke
there still is some hope
the crusifix fighting off all the temptations
and it keeps on saving
life after life
fight after fight
hell falls back into place
chaos beings to fade
time starts to move
lives start to improve
the alter drowns in holy water
the worlds thrown is taken over by our father
who is in heaven hallowed be thy name
in his kingdom he reings
and it will never change
in the end of the day our are beliefs worth it
it dosnt matter cuz its all a circus
everythings a joke
everything means nothing
its up to you to make your beliefs
actually mean something




JC