Flabbergasted

Fear rapes my body
I am wrapped with shame
I hold my tongue
To defend my name
Scared speechless
Will to live is gone
Confused about what I hear
It sounds so wrong

A shadow whispers
I open my eyes
Can’t make out a picture
I comeback with an indolent reply
I pick up my head
But my mind remains sleeping
My throat is dry
From uncontrollable weeping
Scared speechless
Desire to die is strong
I don’t know what to think
Because I don’t know what’s going on

I see the sea
Its much bigger than expected
It is a sign of hope
But this hope will be rejected
Hope is a tease
An addictive drug
With hope comes fate
And all remains are swept under the rug
Hope is unreal
A fictional belief
It stifles your fear
With hopes of relief
I am scared speechless
Determination is just not present
What once was an addiction
Is now a lost obsession

Fear rapes my body
I am wrapped in shame
Not only am I the victim
But the suspect to blame
Scared speechless
I can’t find my heart
I swallow my twinge
As I slowly fall apart




JC