jaded chaos

he was no dreamer
yet dreams chased him just the same
he had a vaccant childs mind
but still he danced in the rain
with eyes of hazel silver
piercing with their stare
drawn from blinking more than once
in fear of causing error
on dark nights he brings light
on light day he brings deep shade
in the cornfields slowly singing
sad songs to fend from the blade
healthy souls are dwindling
most are good as dead
finger triggers bullet through the barrol
aiming strait for his head
the image that is shown is one unknown
words said of soft spoken lies
the image is one that has never been shown
the image of you through the other peoples eyes

as i miss you here i sit alone
in the dark i write to myself
as i run through every thought i own
sinners come and sinners go
but they are sinners just the same
the world is what ever you show
in the eyes of our savior nothing is perfect
as good as things sometimes seem
they are not always worth it
life is a mystery but to some it is solved
once your part of the puzzle is complete
you get to sit back and watch the rest evolve

you gotta believe people that seek the truth
and doubt the ones that find it
for most of your life is decided in your youth
so live it well because you can not rewind it
science is organized knowledge
wisdom is organized life
you gain knowlege by going to college
but it takes time to get wisdom right
but all can be shattered in one small step
when greed comes into to play
then all you can do is pick up whats left
and start over and be thankful to live another day
greed is a fat demon with a small mouth
anything you feed it will not be enough
it bites at your will and makes you want to shout
the truth is condensed in love

as these things run through his head
he wonders how much more he can get outa this life
but every second that goes by that has wishes of him dead
will be one more second wasted tonight
still he is no dreamer
yet dreams chase him just the same
even though he has a vaccant childs mind
he still has the excitment to dance out in the rain
there is a part of your heart that never gets older
and other parts rot just as fast as your mind
but as time ticks by the world gets colder
before we get to witness the destruction we all go blind





JC

the wall

dawn showed faintly in the east
among the ruins, there was one wall standing
the wall stood alone among the fires feast
an ironic strong based understanding
a wall of no color nor enscriptions
a wall so simple to say the least
a wall of some-what fiction
and the sun came up slowly in the east
uneasily it sat there with wind at its chest
yet sturdy and strong it held
it forshadowed the fall of all of the rest
and now it forshadows when it will aswell
a wall of pain and suffering
with faded face prints grinded in the stone
with a stench of past death still hovering
the wall stands there alone
with rubble and ruins at its ground
it stands there gallant and strong
anxious to see the day it gets knocked down
curious of how long it will go on
there is soft whispers in the distant air
but no words nor language can be made clear
for a stranger of this wall is so rare
for this wall fears no fear

the wall gets knocked down
but it does not no how
it staggers to the ground
it to is dead now
the last time its eyes look to the sky
the flash of instant terror is seen
atleast b4 it died it knew why
this wall had been redeemed

lightning flickered through the dark night clouds
looking for a victim to sear
it strikes so silent and lets the pain be loud
having no time to tremble in fear
the wall of stone is now too in ruins
but still its pieces remain
only if this wall knew what it was doing
when it didnt make itself bulletproof to the rain





JC

loving sweet i carry on

loving sweet i carry on
to the place i once belong
now all i want is to just go home
bored by in sadness roam
for everynight darkness shadows
on me with out my own bed
is a night of endless bellows
and thoughs of home running through my head
when i fall asleep i do not dream
pure fainted black is all i see
i wake up and i flood my eyes clean
to bring myself back to reality
and everytime i wake up after a long night
i curse under my breath for i wish not to be
to be in this rigorous fight
sometimes i wish my eyes not to see
soon enough the end will come
and with it will be my grave
until then to the hills we run
in hopes of getting saved

time passes by
day after day
it begins to fly
in all different ways
past the point of confusion
just pure frustration
the beginning of the conclusion
is the hibernation
we are all bullet wound bound
with an x on our chest
our lives are just round
its a never ending mess
circles and circles bringing me to diesease
to die alone and shallow
may god let me rest in piece
one piece in my gallow

the end is gone
and so is so many more
i am back to where i belong
standing right infront of the door
waiting for the approval of the judge
i begin to quietly cry
for i am in the place i truely love
and no more can i be satisfied
loving sweet i carry on
to the place i once belong...




JC

The Devils Time Bomb

grew up knowing nothing about dying
grew up knowing nothing about crying
grew up knowing nothing about the past
grew up not knowing if i were gonna last
grew up with two mouths to feed
grew up with two hearts to bleed
grew up knowing nothing about what is real
grew up knowing nothing about what i feel
grew up not knowing where i will start
grew up not knowing what i had in my heart
grew up with a million eyes watching me
grew up with a million lies slopping me
grew up knowing that the end is around the corner
grew up knowing that id be the one that would have to warm her
grew up knowing nothing about life
grew up knowing nothing about whats right
grew up not knowing where i stood
grew up not knowing if i really understood
grew up with a gun to the back of my head
grew up with a gun just waiting to be led

idiot, why you gotta be so selfish
our world is clogged because ppl are so jealous
and once we begin to mesh
we all crumble to nothing and become whats left
and what that is, is such a disaster
its like a big hand smashing a cracker
to the ground the pieces fall
irreplaceable, and we lose it all
why i even fight back i dont understand
i guess it makes me look more like a man
but what is a man to this world if hes just gonna die
if ur not a hero then being a man isnt worth your life
only if everybody knew what i felt
we all got different views on being in hell
but if we all dont think the same
then in hell's stone is engraved our name
laughing and laughing satan spreads his wings
the fallen angel who could tempt anything
he smirks and stares into the eyes and sees our problems
he decieves us by making us believe that he disolved them
i will crack the wip one more time
send these words through my thoughtless mind
take one last breath of fresh air
and then go down and prepare for the stare
slow is the pace, wisely we rip
only if we werent all idiots

grew up knowing nothing about what i felt
grew up knowing nothing about hell
but soon and sadly am i awaken
b4 i can react my soul is taken
broken hearts are raining from the sky
along with the tears that the angels cry
mourning over one more life that they couldnt save
watching it go down to its fiery grave
no trees for shelter, shelter you from the storm
stuck in the rose bush, not seeing the thorns
pricking you silently you begin to bleed
making you week and then u fall to your knees
asking for another chance and another life to live
you get stuck in a trance as you try to remember all u give
nothing in the end
it all ends up in the end
the devil shows no mercy even to those who did not know
they could have found out if only they woulda shown
let the light shine through them instead of reflecting a shadow
this is one more lost soul to the gallows






JC



influenced

then again

running and running through my mind
it seems like your a waste of my time
but then again you seem to be so many things
running and running faster up so far
leaving behind nothing but scars
so i should stop running and take life as it brings

love should be a swear word
bcuz i swear that "love" is cursed
every time i use it comes back to bite me
and every time i dont things come back to smite me
whats a innocent person supposed to do
someones put on your doorstep and its something new
so why not take this chance of potential joy and run along
but ive been running my whole life and look how far ive gone

slow down and comprehend what is going on
who thought such a short thing could last so long
but then again long isnt to bad
but when it goes down the wrong road
minds clash with one another and hearts explode
and all we end up with is 2 ppl being sad

running and running through my mind
it seems like your a waste of my time
but then again u seem to be so many things
running and running faster up so far
leaving behind nothing but scars
so i should stop running and take life as it brings




JC

under your skin

little child wont u stand up for self
show the world what u got under ur skin
you cant control anyone else
and u are the only one who can out of the mess your in
going through is the best way out
use as much time as it takes to figure out
your life means nothing
unless you make it something
so take a breath and carry your load
lifes best treasures are on the side of the road
the simple way out isnt the simple way in
u cant kill ur self and some how win
lifes to short for second glances
lifes to short to question all your answers
close your eyes and walk away
open them when u decide to stay
a bullet wound shouldnt hold u back
love your nieghbor and its wounds you lack
but sometimes u get screwed over hard
which shows that carring for someone wont get u far
thats the way it is and theres nothing u can do
but take your punches and hope not to get screwed
u could love someone to death and even if they knew it
they do things to you and act like the didnt do it
u can say u love them and they will pretend to no
but u always gotta clerify by the things you show
love should come with a first aid kit
cuz when ur done theres so many things to fix
broken hearts are commonly the result
its just part of loves assult
getting into love wont get u no where
life could be perfect but still it wouldnt be fair
eyes will be eyes, people will be people
guns will be guns and needles will be needles
shoot into my skin and inject my poison
the same mess that makes my mind torsion
two faced critic with a big mouth to feed
i could by dying of hunger and i wouldnt no what i would need
sleeping off the issues but thats not the way to go
crying into tissues and blowing my nose
Its easier to just cry than to cause chaos
its easier to die and just get layed off
gods worker's, we the people dont get fired
from the second we are breathing we are hired
our jobs sercurity depends on our actions
our actions depend on your mental attractions
we see so many ppl just living to death
watching them all leave whats left
all we do is watch the suffer and give in
what we dont realize is that this adds up under our skin
pile upon pile it all grinds up
it goes to your head and neatly lines up
in line to go on a ride with your temptatious rage
the rest wait in line and look out of the cage
as long as it can go on it has to end
there is no easy way to get this message to send
it seems the world is to worried about there own cause
they have no time to step back and give a round of applause
to the people who suffer and die alone
to those people of battle through life on there own
no one cares about nothing anymore
we are covered in diesease more than ever before
we are wearing our death over our shoulders
limping on the war ground like lifeless soldiers
it dosnt take 65 years to die
and if it does pain will be felt every second that goes by
little child
dont let the world pass you by
life is to short a stubbed suicide
lifes to short to just cry
under your skin your life is created
predicaments is what makes a life good
with out probems your life would be jaded
and you would be that much more misunderstood
little child stand up for your self
throw some fists and let your mind give
you cant control anyone else
but you can control the life you live







JC

The Night's Hero

warm nights with dew on the ground
i'm rolled up in a ball hearing not a sound
summer nights
what a delight
spending them with you
dont ever wonna go
down that lonely road
with you, with you

early morning when i wake up
i want to hide behind some make up
whos got that much time
to spend on there life
people just cheat there way
early hour rush
do what you must
to get to you, to you

falling asleep under the thick clouds
the silence is so deep i can think outloud
dream of a song
that cant go wrong
with these pin point perfect musical notes
but what can ya do?
but stay amused
when someone crashes all of your dreams and hopes
of you, of you

the only thing we care about now a-days is perfection
we critcize everyone elses life b4 we face our own reflection
spitting lies
pulling out knives
stabbed in the back so many times before
being ridiculed
shook out of my soul
only if the paths we took had transparent doors

the perfect life
the perfect night
under the stars i lay alone
and the cold blood gets redder
and once u think it cant get any better
i realize that im not on my own

deeply in this
cheaply i win
sleepy i lay
creepy i stay
lying awake
lieing so fake
trying to survive
crying to hide
feeling inside
stealing my life
healing my wound
dealing new groove
open my mind
chosen to find
broken my dreams
awoken by screams
chilled by love
killed by someone
thrilled by another
stilled by a lover
night never end
light strikes the pend
shaken inside
awaken my life...





JC



a.e.i.o.u...y

Incessant Suicide

Incessant Suicide

The times where changing, and the world around this young man was anything but horrible. He had everything he ever wanted. However, he refused to change with this world. He restrained himself from moving on, moving with the rest of the pack. People looked as him as an idiot, they thought he was dumb. But this did not get to this young man. He ignored them and just lived his life. He lived without talking to anyone. Everything he ever did had nothing to do with anything. He had no normal hobbies, and he had no common technologies. He lived a simple life. This young man did not bother a soul, and he rarely showed his face in public.

One day that same young man who had everything he could ever want, killed himself. He hung himself with a mangled rope. He left a note that read:

Just a human that burned away

Burning all the wealth

Someone who did not act the same

Someone not like anyone else

Had no talents

Had no gifts

Took life as is

And lived with it

Life was a jem

That could never rot

The thoughts within

Below this thundering knot

Wish to be alone

Never to be bothered

The world as my clone

Why must it to be slaughtered

These words had such great meaning to the eyes of the viewers. They brought great things to the minds of so many others. During the next few weeks, suicides upon suicides were reported. All hangings, that is. They all left the same note. It has seemed that this simple willingly loned man had started a trend, a revolution. He never bothered anyone but himself, that is why this seemed so unrealistic.

Years later, the world was extinct. There was not a living thing on the planet earth. It seemed as if even God himself abandoned the world. There were no trees, shrubs, flowers, oceans, sand, dirt, rock, soil...nothing was the only thing in exsistance. The sistuation was so unpalpable, until at the momments glance, a lifeform appeared. A man came upon the earth, and along with him was the rest of what was of him. The sun appeared in the eastern sky, and the young man's home came along as well. The man simply walked up to his door, opened the door, and shut it behind him. That was the last thing we heard from the resurected gentleman. However, he managed to slip this by:

Right on time the world stopped

Leaving so many untruthful hearts

I watched the world turn to dust

Gone forever the pain and the lust

It all ended with a human being that burned away

Burning all the wealth

Someone who did not act the same

Acted like no one else

A human that commited suicide

Ended up ending so many more lives

And then resurected to where it dreamed of

A place where it dreamed of

And lived for so long

A place where no thought of the human can go wrong

But what went through this mind

The answers could never be known

A human burned away and resurected

To a the same place where he was alone

JC

see-saw

life is like a see-saw
ur on top of the world
but just like that
the finger snaps
and ur right back on the bottom
u get screwed over so many times
and there is nothing u can do
if u weight differs with yours
u will lose all your wars
and that is how it is
life is like a see-saw
u want to kill but u refrain
u spend ur whole life looking at the trigger
but u hold back from pulling ur finger
and u will never do it either
life is like a see-saw
u see but u dont believe what u saw
u got menacing looking eyes
that stick with u until you die
loyal to never change

everything is so shiftless
u stand up to fight but u end up dickless
whimp out and give in to self destruction
i dont know anything but u say u no somethin
lie upon lie u windle through life
crawling around causing hair--white
using your death wishing, heartless lies
telling them like a menacing riot
your mouth is radiating gimics
u wont admit that ur a total cinic

life is like a see-saw
u see urself getting sawed
fighting the agony
acting all badly
yet u still move on
life is like a po-go stick
u lose count of ur bounces
and u just go with it
radiating gimics

ur opinions are so precarious
i think they are hilarious
ur so inconsistant
u say u did but u really didnt
its not that i hate you
its just i dont love you
its not ur to good
im just so far above you
i hate to be honest
but the truth is for real
im not the kinda person
that keeps his lips sealed

life is like a see-saw
its just a toy
u have ur ups, and then u fall
it just adds to the joy



JC

the art of chaos

into the led and onto the paper
a picture is made

walking down the brown carpeted steps
looking for nothing new
open my eyes and i dont realize
the new figure in my view
not paying attention but knowing the presence
showing no intrest but giving an impression
leaving no steps behind my feet
closing my eyes and letting my heart see

time moving on and all that could be seen was words
living along verse after verse
writing a song about what wanted to be
it could be hand and hand but no to things agree
expressions are shown and minds are swept in glances
impressions are known and there are thoughts of the chances
reason of life is to be what to be
closing my eyes and letting my heart see

moonlight has struck me in the back again
sheering the knife deep into my skin
but with time wounds are mended
hopes are reknown and dreams are pended
smile for a while but nothing seems better to me
than closing my eyes and letting my heart see

out of the lead and onto the paper
fearless of not, no trend of heart breaker
singing my song, singing to sleep
and i close my eyes and let my heart see





JC

wide eyed girl

right on time once again
as you waltz on in the empty room
you got fortune on your side
chasing down the horror of doom
no need for chaositc panic
no need for an inhaler
reel in the fish and land it
just make sure you dont fail her
shes just a wide eyed girl

numbers running up and down my brain
causing more mass confusion
people tell me that i'm insane
but i still think that that to is an illusion
fighting the wind is like fighting cancer
but its all the same in the end
you can turn back and look for answers
but you can never go back again
shes just a wide eyed girl

living in the worlds greatest house
with white gates at the entrance
and i just cant figure out
why isnt there a whole fence
whats a gate with out a surrounding
that takes away the protection effect
and as i see my lifes circle rounding
i begin to pick up the pieces that are left
shes just a wide eyed girl

wide eyes
staring into mine
seeing beyond my face
with that wide eyed gaze
going to her own place
in her own phase
looking into them
i see her love restrain
i would hate to look into them
and see the least bit of pain
she dosnt know what she wants
and niether do i
she goes walking through her life
right on time with her wide eyes

let em' cry let em' cry
let em' cry until they go dry
let it die let it die
it takes longer to close those wide eyes






JC