story of recall

at the bedside of a little child
reading her to sleep
you keep reading even after she closes her eyes
so she falls into it deep
but when the stories over you give in to the night
and u find urself with a melancholy grin
u flip through the pages of your own life
and then u look at hers and u want to rebegin
remember the days of old
when everything went so right
i remember these days of old
everytime i read her to bed at night
but when i see her eyes begin to close
those last moments of her day i adore
and it kills me that i will never know
what tommorow night has in store
one thing i know for sure
something that can not be changed
i will always love her
even if reading to her is strange
someday i will be denied
but it needs to be understood
they begin to drift away from your life
as they enter that adulthood
so when im down when this occurs
i will think of these nights
i will cherish these moments i adore
as i flip through the pages of her life
although everynight a book is finished
there is one that remains open
and everytime an old book closes
a new one begins




JC

the last road

roads and roads b4 me i ponder
looking onto the roads out yonder
so many of them crossing my path
crossing my smile, crossing my rath
entering a phase of darkness soul
where there is no light or self control
ur mind is lost in the musical notes
no one jokes cuz we are in the same boat
we curiously look into the eyes of the last road
for what it holds we will never know

and i keep moving along ignoring the stalking
i hear so many voices but i keep on walking
hateful phrases and unwishful thinking
if this goes on then this boat will be sinking
negitive minds lead to negitive reactions
and with we got those we will have negitive attractions
we have so much on our shoulders but only one mouth to feed
through the last road we probably have no time to dream

dont move to fast or else u are doomed to fall
the worst thing that will happen is that u lose it all
on the road somewhere it will be lost
so keep a slow pace and u wont have to pay that cost
as i look ahead i see the footsteps fading
over time its been through paving
there is no longer dirt that witholds the inmprint of feet
now all it is is dusty and cracked concrete
but the road to happiness isnt always smooth
i guess that is what im trying to get to
as we all no, for we have all gone through sadness
thats just the first step to life long madness

as i go along i begin to understand even more
that sometimes ok to go through doors
you must except that people will die
hearts will be broken and tears will be cried
when people get old they get sick
its just one of those things you gotta live with
and as much as u love them u cant keep them forever
but there soul is something u will always remember

and as the road keeps curving to the left and the right
u think to yourself is this really worth living this life
but as you consider it becomes to late
when it comes to making up your mind you shouldnt hesitate
roads and roads b4 i ponder
these roads b4 me way out yonder
so many have crossed my path
crossed the line and have felt the rath
but then there are others who admire every breath they take
and cherish every momement that they are awake
those are the roads that are long and have loose gravel
those are the kinda of roads id like to travel
but we still look curiously into the last road
for the fortunes it holds we will never no







JC

crown the lost

he is trying to be sleeping
he wants to be dreaming
but the past is knocking at his head
he is sick and tired of grieving
hes crying so hard he stopped breathing
only if there was no such thing as dead
ive never seen him cry b4
he hides it from the world
when he starts it makes me wonna cry even more

it feels like im screaming inside
i no longer want to be alive
but his pride pushes me on
i wont give up until hes gone
and until then ill just read this ballad

there is more than one death out of a suicide
one bullet could end so many more lives
but i refrain from counting
i remember the friday when he died
everything in my life was swept aside
and my circle began its rounding
i cant say ive ever felt that y i felt
and the result is something i cant hide from the world
blurried eyes, runny nose and a heart in welts

it feels like im screaming inside
i no longer wonna be alive
but his pride pushes me on
i wont give up until hes gone
and until then i will just read this ballad

crown the lost
burn the remains
pay the cost
or feel the pain
hatred is hollow
and its somthing we must swallow
for the rest of our long lives
with or without our own suicide

now somthing is missing
and my world keeps shifting
so much has changed
and im so rearanged
he keeps on grieving
crying and not breathing
he wants to be sleeping
he wants to be dreaming

it feels like im screaming inside
i no longer want to be alive
but his pride pushes me on
i wont give up until hes gone
and until then i will read this ballad

the king of my life
i praise him
he stills the night
and makes it dim
i can understand
what he was shooting for
his own brain
y would u want anything more?






JC





inspired

hold your eyes

hold your eyes
watch no longer suffer
dont you cry
i no that you love her
time will tell the future now
so stop trying to figure out
bcuz i no u love her
and you cant get enough of her

barbed wire holds u together
just like birds and there feathers
keep your distance from the edge
just keep an eye on what she said
learn from what u heard
and go from there

hold your eyes
watch no longer suffer
dont you cry
i no i that u lover her
time will tell the future now
so stop to trying to figure out
bcuz i no u love her
and u cant get enough of her

your not alone in this situation
theres so many more cases of this festation
dont worry about the past cuz its gone
dont worry about your past u dont have to run
its safe with the rest of the secrets
now its up to u to keep this
to yourself, to yourself

hold your eyes
watch no longer suffer
dont you cry
i no that you love her
we all no that the grass is greener on the other side
so hold your eyes
hold your eyes

u would
save me
so i will
save you
u no that i will never betray you
friend and friend
hand in hand
live till gone
till the end
never to be forgotten
this couldnt possibly go rotten
so take this pride
turn into to a better life
make somthing of this
gentle enough of a kiss


hold your eyes
watch no longer suffer
dont you cry
i no that you love her
time will tell the future now
stop trying to figure out
bcuz i no that you love her
and u cant get enough of her...

hold your eyes
one more time
bcuz when u open them
there will be a suprise
hold your eyes
let love pass u by
in your case there is no question of
surly you are truly in love.....



JC

those nights in pain

hatred's final bow is laid
and hungry warriors pend
looking into there eyes of spade
looking into the end
running blind through killing vines
the air stenches of blood
watching the clocks tick down the time
and wondering if we have enough

whipe away the tears cuz the suns coming to rise
the night has been and gone its ok 2 open your eyes
the battle is over and everyone is long gone
its put in pause but 2night it will carry on
but you cannot hide in the sunlight
the sunlight

visions of the deep
the low and the middle
little children wheep
the war is a riddle
we just cant find
a place in heart
or the piece of mind
to end the start
holy mary looks down on us
under the moon we scream and cuss
leaving us left with nothing but
the sunlight, to save us

dawn breaks and everything is well
as we look back on the night of hell
we cry we cry forever more
they die they died on the concrete floor
our lives arnt pittied they r not cared
no one pays attention to our helpless stares
we cant help ourselves and no one is willing to
bcuz they dont want to be in it to
day after day more ppl get sucked in
turning there life into this religion
treating it as a job and a first priority
now we are the minority
blood is shed and tears are drawn
we want to stop but we let it go on
and as we sit in the stillness of night
we pray for the sunlight

hatred's final bow is laid
and hungry warriors pend
looking into there eyes of spade
looking into the end
not afraid, just terified
yet the fight goes on
we got nothing to lose in our lives
so we carry on

we do not no any better
for this is how we were taught
we do this together
as our innocent minds rot
running blind through killing vines
with the air stenching of blood
watching the clocks tick away the time
and wondering if we have enough

the bounce back is the hardest part
bcuz the rebound isnt always there
looking for the piece of our heart
that could end our helpless stares
reading words in untitled books
not knowing if its true
if we always read by the covers looks
then our numbers would be few
the bounce back is the best part
bcuz the sunlight is always there
giving us a brand new start
second chances are whats fair
fighting for the cause of many more
and praying for those whom dead
cleaing off the concrete floor
and cleaning out our heads

the sunlight comes
the sunlight stays
no one runs
no one betrays
sunlight rains apon us now
giving us a chance to figure out
just how amazing life can be
when you are the majority
but we are forever stained
on those nights, those nights in pain






JC





influenced

time and time again

its bad enough that you have to live your life
so im not gonna tell you whats wrong and right
that just would not be fair to you
although i try so hard to find your place
i take the easy way out on a pace
the best way out is always to go through

the lonely road is more lonely after dark
the fire lights slowly after the spark
time and time again i wouldnt dare to speak
my eyes begin to water and my knees go weak

pain isnt anything but a sense of wonder
pain is just a criminal that constantly plunders
your mind is stolen and your courage is broken
truth isnt anything but lies
in the world of humans everyone has to cry
in that same world none of the doors will open

the world is blind as me
someone plz help me see
im abandoned and i cant feel
if this feeling is real

i slay my self and regret everything i ever did
i look back to the days when i was a kid
i was innocent but i was pummeled in guilt
a fire was burning inside of me
one day i set that fire free
and i burned down the life that i built

deprived of the only thing i will ever need
im sick of being perfect wont you plz make me bleed
washing away everything my life ever was
i wont complain about tradegies cuz that what it does

floating in the skys
above the skys i sat
hearing the animals cry
hearing them all laugh
time and time again
time and time again
time and time again
time will never end
and as i sit here in my same old chair
writing the same old rhyme
sitting in my electric chair
worrying about time

its bad enough
u need to live your life
you dont need me
to say whats wrong and right
i close my eyes
praying for last resort
i hear a sigh
and i see the open door
climbing through the world
despratley to see
what is in line for us
what is in life for me
the future is the worst place to be right now
bcuz all thats in the future
is hollers and wows
time and time again
time and time again
time and time again
time will never end





JC

dancing moves

battles lost
blood earned
i paid the cost
lesson learned
no regrets
no sad songs
i leave whats left
and i move on
take a breath
feel the heat
i leave whats left
at my feet

in the end now we move on
b4 you no it our past will be gone
forever and ever we will remember everybody
forever and ever we will still be the same old nobodys

falling awake
no fret of fear
my lifes at stake
i wonna take back those years
relive them again
remember all the things
talk with my friends
and all that brings

life is scattered
mind is shattered
mirror is broken
in my face
tears are plenty
hearts are left empty
and we are all chosen
to run this race
we chase nothing
to find something
but in the end
its always the same
we are empty handed
and abandoned
but our friends
still hold there name

battles lost
blood earned
deaths the cost
lesson learned
no regrets
no sad songs
what is left
and i move on
as i breath the humid air
im not sure what to think
still virgin to whats out there
better live life b4 you blink




JC

no more hearts to be broken

i dont want anymore hearts to be broken
all i want is peace
i just wonna be awoken
from this endless dream
my eyes are grieving
my heart is bleeding
and i just want to scream
no more hearts to be broken
and i think im choking
on something i dont really mean

im to young to worry about my life
wait till im older and aged
thats when u gotta worry about heart attacks
and being over weight
im to young to worry about anything
the land of oppertunities is so fake
and i really dont no
how much more i can take
suicide never came to me
i went to it
it looked me right in the eye
but i just couldnt do it
radiating anger is controling my mind
inconsistant rage has brought me blind

what will i do with myself when im a big man
right now i dont know anything
and i just cant understand
i try so hard but i get no where
they say u will get far if u just go there
but i cant go anywhere i cant see
and thats the problem with me
i cant go anywhere i cant see

make me a believer and i will make you a saint
right now im standing outside, in the pooring rain
jesus wouldnt no what to do
and thats the problem with you
jesus just wouldnt no what to do

i dont want anymore hearts to be broken
all i want is peace
i just wonna be awoken
from this endless dream
my eyes are grieving
my heart is bleeding
and i just want to scream
no more hearts to be broken
and i think im choking
on something i dont really mean

clean hands dont mean ur innocent
all bcuz u dont no dosnt mean ur havnt been in it
u to take suicide
square in the eye
face it down
bcuz u dont wonna die
clean hands dosnt mean ur perfect
all it means is ur worth it
and everythings worth it in the end
its the journy that it strongly depends
and thats the way it is
thats how its been from the start
this is how it is
no more broken hearts..





JC

the lonely boy

he was the lonely boy
his mind was his only toy
and he was judged by everyone but them up-high
he did not do good but god knows he tried
all he could do is sit all day
watching the clouds go by
he hated all those rain days
when those rain clouds filled the skys
he sucked it up and faced all of this fears
but it was not enough for him to take back all those tears
under cloudy skys this lonely boy leers
on and on he walks alone, walkin away from the mirror

afraid to look back
all is so dull back then
he had so much on his shoulders
and so much sweat on the skin
he was scared to death of everything
he layed below the angels wing
hiding so the world wont have to see
the fridged boy that was held in he
he never made it to the outside
he sat alone inside and cried
he prayed for soon coming the day he would die
he never did good but god knew he tried

meet the lonely boy
his mind was his only toy
laughter was held inside
just along with everything else
he was not a hypocrite
he just had problems with
seeing through his eyes
and showing what he felt
everyday he sat at home
crying all alone
no one would want to bother him
bcuz they figured he could bother his own
time and time again he spoke
but not a ear had heard
the lonely boy sat back down
and gave him self his word

look here at the lonely boy
lets laugh him lower to the ground
bring me pain instead of joy
for none in his soul can be found
he has his life at his finger tips
its up 2 him what he wishes to do with it
its his life and how ever he wants to live
its up 2 him who to do it with
and as we watch the lonely boy
throw away his whole life
we cannot help but laugh at him
yet we no it is not right
how he feels inside is completly sick
and then he gets the narled rope and ends all of it

hanging there
in blank stare
the lonely boy isnt alone anymore
we have beat him down below the floor
hell is the consiqence
of this fatal event
so tell me who is lonely now
you should be just crying out
for forgivness bcuz you are to blame
u got an x on ur chest and a disgrace to your name
and now you cant take it no more
every one laughs and takes you lower than the floor
u feel unreal
and the pain is outragious
but its pain that you cant feel
bcuz youve turned the pages
you to are dead
alone and scared
you pray to god
but only satan is there...

he was the lonely boy
his mind was his only toy
he was judged by everyone but them up-high
he did not do good but god knows he tried
and all because he was lonely, this poor child died...





JC

cigarette effect..

cigarette effect
smoking away my life
in the fastest lane
with the finish in my sight
every day i get 2 days older
and my heart gets 2 degrees colder
for the time is closer
and the death angel is my chauffeur

and the wind is against my face
im tripping over my lace
one shoes off and the others on
half my life is coming and half is gone
you usually see something so fatal
in a world of so much betreyal
but this world is so much different
and this girl can be compared with it

as long as im here alive
breathing every day
a sword remains in my side
until i find the right words to say
as long as the sun comes up
i will come up too
but sometimes the sun isnt enough
so i revert to you

walk down the street
with your crippled feet
to tired to keep moving along
but still ur pride moves you on
and i meet your eyes
looking back into mine
but it seems you see right through me
and u keep walking as if u never knew me

and once again
once again
i dont wonna believe
that this could be the end
and there she goes
there she goes
she walks along
thinking this is a hoax
and here i am
here i am
speechless
cuz this could be the end

this is the cigarette effect
i leave behind whats left
im a victim of theaft
though i dont care cuz i want whats best
its like a butt of a cigarette..





JC

something on my mind

hey there wont u look at me now
i got, something on my mind
who would guess that its not complicated
hey there wont u look at yourself
u got, the sky as your time
and all is needed now is just some pacience

word for word
line for line
if i really took my life seriously
then i would have already lost my mind
age to age
time to time
if i really cared about everything
then there would be nothing for me to find
front to back
life and death
if i would be able to explain it all
then id surly be outa breath
peace from war
blood for oil
i just cant take this frustration anymore
and my brain is about to boil

hey there wont you look at me now
i got, something on my mind
who would guess that its not complicated
hey there wont you look at yourself
you got, the sky as your time
and all is needed now is just some pacience

eye for an eye
tooth for a tooth
but what will happen when u run outa them
you will be deprived of your youth
money for goods
goods for life
but if we all worked together in this world
then we all wouldnt half to fight
word for word
line for line
if you read every word in my own lines
then you would surly be lost in my own mind

hey there wont you look at me now
i got, something on my mind
who would guess that its not complicated
hey there wont you look at yourself
u got, the sky as your time
and all is needed now is just some pacience

and the dust is revealed
dirt and the scum
we sweep it all under the carpet
and claim that we are done
cheating through life
cheating the fight
its all unfair
but we think its so right
it all is different
bcuz we all dont interpret it as
money is not worth it
if its not gonna last
the sun isnt worth it
if its not gonna shine
and happiness isnt worth it
if we dont have the time..
to enjoy the life we are living
the things we take
and the things we are giving
the day dosnt start when we wake
it starts in the beginning
we dont know
what we dont see
and what everyone shows
is invisible to me

hey there wont you look at me now
i got, something on my mind
who would guess that its not complicated
hey there wont you look at yourself
you got, the sky as your time
and all is needed now is just some pacience...







JC

hope's surroundings

the cold spring rain
a mist falls apon the ground
it is kinda like the pain
and how it circles me around

and he was a smiling child
his face was pale and cold
talking to him was worth my while
bcuz the same thing never got old
over and over again we would speak
but never did we really connect
until the first day i truely seeked
but then he already left

i did not know where the heavens were
nothing did i know of hell
the good ones raised to the skys i know
and the bad ones often fell
but thats so vague and poory described
for there is no true definition
the only way to find out is to die
so now on life we start ditching

the cold spring rain
a mist falls apon the ground
it is kinda like the pain
and how it circles me around






JC