disaster is me

my hearts beating at a speedy rate
my eyes are shaking and i cant concentrate
im so pissed off i cant take the time to think
i have broken the void in my chain link
and seconds go by
as i stand there and try
to keep a positive addititude
but its so hard to give him graditude
when hes laughing in your face
because of my disgrace
i really dont no whats going on
i really dont no what im doing wrong
but its time for me to step to the plate
but when i go to swing every time im late
now i no that somethings missing
would it help if i join the rest and started ass kissing
and now my hands sting
and im stumbling
i have fallen so many times i forget what its like to be strong
and i find my self asking how much longer will this go on

ive been through the highs and the lows
ive seen the end of the road
but ive never gone through something like this
surviving it painfree could be my only wish
i have no hope, i got no faith
i have been deprived and i still cant concentrate
i can only fit so much stuff in my mind
and every day has only so much time
i got so many things to do and places to be
i forget about my own life i forget about me
just stuck in the mud i crawl my way through
as soon as i get close to the end i get shoved back in the stew
this is a silent argument
my mind is twisted and bent
to match my body which is worn and pale
my fate from the start was to fail

and my heart starts beating real slow
im fadding away but i wont let go
my eyes no longer 20-20
everythings just a bit fuzzy
so i close my eyes
and hum a lullabye
and try to go to sleep
and take the preasure off my blistered feet
and as i go to bed
i have the same old thought in my head
2morro morning
ill wake up and ill go back to the boring
life ive been living
nothing seems to be giving
and i keep on taking
keep on breaking
everythings a mess now
i will confess now
i am a disaster
my heart beats faster and faster
and i cant take it any longer
my rage gets stronger
so i take it on my self
cuz its my fault, not no body else
bam...how do you like me now



JC